i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize