i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
