I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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