One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
