So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize