When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
