im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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