I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
