idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
