What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
