She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
