Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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