What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
