we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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