I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
nutella sex= disaster
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
