is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Mom said you looked used
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
