He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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