kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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