hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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