How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
