I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
