We won't sleep together?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
