so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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