he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
