Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You should frame my arrest warrant.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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