I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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