mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize