your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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