I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
