Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
