Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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