i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
