Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When are your genitals available?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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