His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
