Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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