There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
