Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
