I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
