Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
