new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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