Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
