Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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