Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
