What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
