All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there's paper in my vomit.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
