Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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