you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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