The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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