you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
