So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
