just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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