no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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