if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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