just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
