Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize