Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
